Well it's that time of year again; the time when mince meat pies make their appearance. Have you ever wondered where the mince meat comes from? Anyone who has done any research, including me, knows that the meat of a tiny animal known as a "mince" is the source of what many consider a Holiday delicacy.
Let me give you the history of the Mince. Minces were around during biblical times. They were on Noah's Ark. In the Old Testament book of Huzzah it says, "It is harder to capture a mince than it is to get into the Kingdom of Heaven". (Newest Revised Version). Minces are now found only in Ireland. They live underground and feed on the lush grasses of the many golf courses immediately after a heavy rain. They are as tiny as field mice. They can only be captured by shining a very bright light on them day or night (hence the saying "the mince in the headlight look"), scooping them up and throwing them into a boiling pot of water immediately. In Ireland, Leprechauns earn their living by catching them, boiling them and selling them to mince meat factories (hence, the saying "a pot of mince at the end of the rainbow").
It takes about 20 minces to provide enough mince meat for a pie, and there are about 100 million mince meat pies served during the holiday season, therefore it takes about 2 billion minces to provide meat for the pies every year.
Minces reproduce raidly (there is a related saying which I cannot share in mixed company), producing 12 litters of young every year (the young are called "mincelets") and each litter averages about 12 mincelets per litter (hence the saying " a gross (12 times 12) of mincelets").
There are about 14 million breeding pairs of minces in Ireland today which is just enough to supply the present demand for mince meat pie world- wide today. There are however, some problems which must be addressed if the minces are to survive:
Habitat destruction is rampant. As houses are being built around Irish golf courses, there is no place for the minces to live, eat and breed (they are very self- conscious animals, too). Unlike the famous spotted owl of North America, minces cannot adapt to alternative habitats.
Younger minces are more susceptible to being tricked into gathering into groups on the golf courses (a group of minces is called a "mincestrel" as they can be quite musical at times). They are then easily captured and killed. Therefore, few new breeding pairs of minces are added every year, and as the older minces pass their reproductive days, the population of minces is seriously endangered.
I propose several solutions to save the rapidly declining mince population :
The President of the United States needs to appoint a commission to study the mince problem. The U.S, is the largest consumer of mince meat in the world and our appetite for mince meat obviously needs to be curbed!
The United States Food and Drug Administration needs to declare mince meat unfit for human consumption. If there is no market for mince meat, the senseless slaughter of these gentle animals will cease and the population of minces will grow rapidly again. If the minces then happen to overrun the golf courses in Ireland because of the fact that their population is growing uncontrollably, I suggest that the Irish watch the movie "Caddyshack" to learn how to deal with this exploding mince population.
The bottom line is that it is up to us, the American mince meat consumer, to stop eating mince meat pies. We need to show the world that we care about saving endangered species before they become extinct! The financial damage to the Irish economy, especially to the Leprechauns, which have acheived minority status, is of much less importance than the saving of these gentle creatures that we call "minces"! We can always increase our foreign aid to Ireland to offset the economic loss caused by the collapse of the mince meat industry, but as we all know, "extinction is forever"!!
Thank you for reading this plea for help. You can contact your local government representative or better yet send money, lots of money, to this blogger's address in the state of Mince-issippi. Contact me at 1-800-NOMINCE for further instructions!
Friday, October 15, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
The Living Man That I Admire The Most
I have come to many realizations this summer. The latest one is the living man that I most admire. Before I tell you who it is, let me list some of the "runners up" in no particular order!
First there are my brothers: Simon, who has a God- given musical talent and was an outstanding VA Counselor, Jim, who has exceptional cooking ability and John who has perservered through a lot in his life.
Then there is my son- in- law, JoAnna's husband and father to David and Rachel, Russell Johnson. Russell is a great dad, husband and plant manager. I was so impressed with what he has done to improve the work flow and productivity of the Vicksburg operation of Batesville Casket Company. His plant recently won the "Industry Plant of the year Award" due in large part to his skill and hard work! I am also grateful to Bryan Morgan, the dad of my other two grandkids, Victoria and Kaitlyn.
Then there are people who came into my life while I have been an adult: Bill O'Brien, who is now 86 years old and has been a running companion, fellow basketball official, bowling teammate and golf partner for over 35 years. There is Ralph Bemis, who was my neighbor for about 15 years. Ralph is the hardest working, most giving person I have ever known. He is now over 90 years old and has only slowed down a little.
Pastors Lynn Howell and Chuck Engelhardt have been a source of great comfort, wisdom and guidance in my own search for the truths of life. Mr. Ed Tonore of Southern Heritage fame is the best entrepeneur I have ever known.
In the category of people that I admire from my 35 years of teaching, I could list many but a few really stand out: Mr. Mike Buckley, Ag teacher at Southeast High in Bradenton has been a source of encouragement and wisdom for me. Mike is overall the most professional and driven teacher that I have ever worked with. Mr. Dan West, Manatee County Fair Manager, has been a friend and mentor for over 15 years. My Braden River Middle School Principal, Mr. George Douglas, was a man of high principles and was a real role model for me. Colonel Bob Lewis, Lakewood Ranch ROTC instructor, was also a driven person who saw everything as black and white and I admire him for that. Roy Larson, Lakewood Ranch Principal, was a consumate professional who treated everyone fairly and was as organized as anyone that I have ever known. Finally, Mr. Charles Williams, longtime Ag Supervisor for Manatee County, was a constant source of inspiration for me, and I consider him a life- long friend.
Now to the person that I admire the most: it is my older bother William Thomas "Tom" Jackson! Tom was born on February 13, 1942 in Beerston, NY. He and I got along fine as brothers even though we weren't particularly close. I guess I was somewhat jealous of his close relationship with our Grandmother Jackson, but then I understood at a certain level that as the oldest child he should be in that role.
I was a better person in school due in part to the example that Tom set. My teachers expected me to behave like Tom and I "pretty much" did!
We were students at Cornell together for one year and again I did not see a lot of him. I was in the freshman dorms and Tom stayed in a rooming house on Stewart Avenue. Again, there was no animosity between us but we did not hang out together much.
When Tom and Sandra got married in 1964, I was an usher at their wedding. Don Byington, one of Tom's Cornell roomates, was the best man. I was fine with that.
It was when I was going through some terrible personal problems in 1967- 1968, that I really started to appreciate Tom and see the kind of person that he really was. I was staying in a trailer at a small trailer park that he had on his farm. I was the ultimate lousy tenant; partied too much, hardly ever paid rent and was a general pain in the butt! Tom had every reason to kick me to the curb but he didn't. It's like he knew that I was in a bad place and needed some understanding. A kick in the butt would have been more appropriate but that wasn't in my brother's nature.
When Carol and I got together in 1983 I know that Tom and Sandra both had questions and reservations about our relationship. But again, he and they both showed an immense amount of patience and understanding with us. I hope that their patience has been rewarded.
I admire Tom for his devotion to his God. When he and Sandra were married Tom became a Catholic. He has embraced Catholicism over the years, has not just gone through the motions. I know that this was hard for him being raised as a Protestant. Tom lives his religion 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. How many of the rest of us can say that??
I admire Tom for how he has handled some major medical problems throughout his life. Tom has the Brac 2 gene mutation which makes him susceptible to certain kinds of cancers. Thankfully, I don't have that mutation. I could not have handled it as my brother has. God must have had that planned! In 2001 Tom had quintuple bypass surgery, in 2007 he had breast cancer (due to the gene mutation that he carries) and today, October 11, 2010, he had his prostate removed by choice. He could have opted for a less radical procedure, but his strong will to live and knowledge of his condition led to this choice. Could I have done it this way: probably not!
Tom said today while recovering from surgery that family was the reason that his surgery was so successful. You are partially correct brother, but the main reason that today's procedure was so successful is YOU!! Your physical preparation by losing over 30 pounds, your strong belief in a higher being, your will to stay healthy for your family, and your stubborn desire to be a role model and set an example for your brothers, wife, kids, grandkids and friends are the real reasons that you did so well today!
You have conquered some medical challenges that would have caused a lesser person to give up. You have become my closest friend in life. I appreciate you more every day that I live and I have grown to love you as my brother, my role model and mentor in how to properly live my life. Our lives have taken different paths that have converged in the past few years and led us to the good place that we are in now. The fact that we disagree on politics and sports is of very little consequence. What matters is that we live the rest of our lives enjoying our friends, families and loved ones and remembering what has led us to this place.
First there are my brothers: Simon, who has a God- given musical talent and was an outstanding VA Counselor, Jim, who has exceptional cooking ability and John who has perservered through a lot in his life.
Then there is my son- in- law, JoAnna's husband and father to David and Rachel, Russell Johnson. Russell is a great dad, husband and plant manager. I was so impressed with what he has done to improve the work flow and productivity of the Vicksburg operation of Batesville Casket Company. His plant recently won the "Industry Plant of the year Award" due in large part to his skill and hard work! I am also grateful to Bryan Morgan, the dad of my other two grandkids, Victoria and Kaitlyn.
Then there are people who came into my life while I have been an adult: Bill O'Brien, who is now 86 years old and has been a running companion, fellow basketball official, bowling teammate and golf partner for over 35 years. There is Ralph Bemis, who was my neighbor for about 15 years. Ralph is the hardest working, most giving person I have ever known. He is now over 90 years old and has only slowed down a little.
Pastors Lynn Howell and Chuck Engelhardt have been a source of great comfort, wisdom and guidance in my own search for the truths of life. Mr. Ed Tonore of Southern Heritage fame is the best entrepeneur I have ever known.
In the category of people that I admire from my 35 years of teaching, I could list many but a few really stand out: Mr. Mike Buckley, Ag teacher at Southeast High in Bradenton has been a source of encouragement and wisdom for me. Mike is overall the most professional and driven teacher that I have ever worked with. Mr. Dan West, Manatee County Fair Manager, has been a friend and mentor for over 15 years. My Braden River Middle School Principal, Mr. George Douglas, was a man of high principles and was a real role model for me. Colonel Bob Lewis, Lakewood Ranch ROTC instructor, was also a driven person who saw everything as black and white and I admire him for that. Roy Larson, Lakewood Ranch Principal, was a consumate professional who treated everyone fairly and was as organized as anyone that I have ever known. Finally, Mr. Charles Williams, longtime Ag Supervisor for Manatee County, was a constant source of inspiration for me, and I consider him a life- long friend.
Now to the person that I admire the most: it is my older bother William Thomas "Tom" Jackson! Tom was born on February 13, 1942 in Beerston, NY. He and I got along fine as brothers even though we weren't particularly close. I guess I was somewhat jealous of his close relationship with our Grandmother Jackson, but then I understood at a certain level that as the oldest child he should be in that role.
I was a better person in school due in part to the example that Tom set. My teachers expected me to behave like Tom and I "pretty much" did!
We were students at Cornell together for one year and again I did not see a lot of him. I was in the freshman dorms and Tom stayed in a rooming house on Stewart Avenue. Again, there was no animosity between us but we did not hang out together much.
When Tom and Sandra got married in 1964, I was an usher at their wedding. Don Byington, one of Tom's Cornell roomates, was the best man. I was fine with that.
It was when I was going through some terrible personal problems in 1967- 1968, that I really started to appreciate Tom and see the kind of person that he really was. I was staying in a trailer at a small trailer park that he had on his farm. I was the ultimate lousy tenant; partied too much, hardly ever paid rent and was a general pain in the butt! Tom had every reason to kick me to the curb but he didn't. It's like he knew that I was in a bad place and needed some understanding. A kick in the butt would have been more appropriate but that wasn't in my brother's nature.
When Carol and I got together in 1983 I know that Tom and Sandra both had questions and reservations about our relationship. But again, he and they both showed an immense amount of patience and understanding with us. I hope that their patience has been rewarded.
I admire Tom for his devotion to his God. When he and Sandra were married Tom became a Catholic. He has embraced Catholicism over the years, has not just gone through the motions. I know that this was hard for him being raised as a Protestant. Tom lives his religion 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. How many of the rest of us can say that??
I admire Tom for how he has handled some major medical problems throughout his life. Tom has the Brac 2 gene mutation which makes him susceptible to certain kinds of cancers. Thankfully, I don't have that mutation. I could not have handled it as my brother has. God must have had that planned! In 2001 Tom had quintuple bypass surgery, in 2007 he had breast cancer (due to the gene mutation that he carries) and today, October 11, 2010, he had his prostate removed by choice. He could have opted for a less radical procedure, but his strong will to live and knowledge of his condition led to this choice. Could I have done it this way: probably not!
Tom said today while recovering from surgery that family was the reason that his surgery was so successful. You are partially correct brother, but the main reason that today's procedure was so successful is YOU!! Your physical preparation by losing over 30 pounds, your strong belief in a higher being, your will to stay healthy for your family, and your stubborn desire to be a role model and set an example for your brothers, wife, kids, grandkids and friends are the real reasons that you did so well today!
You have conquered some medical challenges that would have caused a lesser person to give up. You have become my closest friend in life. I appreciate you more every day that I live and I have grown to love you as my brother, my role model and mentor in how to properly live my life. Our lives have taken different paths that have converged in the past few years and led us to the good place that we are in now. The fact that we disagree on politics and sports is of very little consequence. What matters is that we live the rest of our lives enjoying our friends, families and loved ones and remembering what has led us to this place.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
To Mom
We're picking up boxes of things
that belonged to you
Seems like the finality of your death
has finally set in
The clothes that you once wore
Won't be needed
The TV set you watched
Will be silent
It's sad when a life comes down
To a few boxes
That hold the possessions
That remained yours
But your life is measured by more
Than what was left behind
It's the memories that you left
For all of us to treasure
And the lives that you touched
Will all be richer
Because you were part of them
You made us all better
Enjoy the rest of eternity
Brightening things in Heaven
And wait for us all to join you
And be a family again
that belonged to you
Seems like the finality of your death
has finally set in
The clothes that you once wore
Won't be needed
The TV set you watched
Will be silent
It's sad when a life comes down
To a few boxes
That hold the possessions
That remained yours
But your life is measured by more
Than what was left behind
It's the memories that you left
For all of us to treasure
And the lives that you touched
Will all be richer
Because you were part of them
You made us all better
Enjoy the rest of eternity
Brightening things in Heaven
And wait for us all to join you
And be a family again
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Changes
I've gotta make some changes
In the way I live my life
Gonna change my priorities
and respect all minorities
I've gotta leave my comfort zone
See what's around the curve
See what's over the ridge
Gonna cross that bridge
I've gotta see
How the other half lives
Who does the taking
and who's gotta give
I've gotta figure out
The meaning of this life
Why governments and people
Gotta use the gun and knife
I've gotta figure out
How to get right with my God
I'm gonna show my grandkids
The road that I have trod
I've gotta leave the world
Better than I found it
Gonna try to spread some cheer
All over and around it
And when I'm dead and gone
You're gonna visit me
I hope you say in your own way
Like him I gotta be
In the way I live my life
Gonna change my priorities
and respect all minorities
I've gotta leave my comfort zone
See what's around the curve
See what's over the ridge
Gonna cross that bridge
I've gotta see
How the other half lives
Who does the taking
and who's gotta give
I've gotta figure out
The meaning of this life
Why governments and people
Gotta use the gun and knife
I've gotta figure out
How to get right with my God
I'm gonna show my grandkids
The road that I have trod
I've gotta leave the world
Better than I found it
Gonna try to spread some cheer
All over and around it
And when I'm dead and gone
You're gonna visit me
I hope you say in your own way
Like him I gotta be
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
"The Best Funeral Ever"
As many of you know, my Mom, Evelyn Jackson, passed away on September 27, 2010. Her funeral was October 1st and her burial was today, October 5th.
I have already written an "R.I.P." blog but I want to give a little more insight into this remarkable lady.
During the calling hours and her service the obvious occured to me; that Mom left no enemies. I know of no one else that I can truthfully say that about. She never bad- mouthed anyone, including "wannabe" enemies!
At the calling hours and the funeral, there was sadness, but also an aura of peacefulness and appreciation in everyone whose lives she had touched in any way. She was a simple lady with no ego who said "no" to very few people during her life. I am sure that all of the people who were there, including family, were in some way touched by her beneficence!
Now let me get to the main point of this blog; that Mom had a unique lexicon, or way of expressing herself, which was part of her charm. Here are some of her expressions:
"Shoot-a-bear". Mom said this when she was startled, surprised, puzzled, at a loss for words, or confronted with a situation which was out of her control. This simple statement saved time and conveyed how she felt about specific situations.
"Hoodinky or whodinky". This was used as an adjective, for example, " That hoodinky cow must be sick because she didn't give as much milk as she usually did." It was also used as a noun, as "Whodinky stopped by the house to see you." You could always figure out what the "hoodinky" or who the "whodinky" was sooner or later!!
"Okie- dokie". Lots of people say O.K. or alright but few say "okie- dokie" the way Mom did. in fact she went through a time when she said "okie- dokie sokie." I have no idea what the "sokie" meant except for the fact that it added a bit of onomatopoeia (look it up!) to what she said!
However, Mom's most memorable and endearing saying, which said a lot about her as a person, was for example, " This is the best meal I have ever eaten"; or "that is the cutest baby I have ever seen"; or "this is the best car I have ever ridden in"; or " this is the nicest house I have ever been in". Well, you get the point. Mom appreciated the simple, mundane things in life and expressed herself in a manner that would make everyone around her feel better because of her prescence. She was a veritable "welcome wagon" as hundreds of people who stopped by the house over the years can attest to.
Many of you attended her services, but I wish that everyone reading this, whether you knew Mom or not, could have attended "The Best Funeral Ever"!!
I have already written an "R.I.P." blog but I want to give a little more insight into this remarkable lady.
During the calling hours and her service the obvious occured to me; that Mom left no enemies. I know of no one else that I can truthfully say that about. She never bad- mouthed anyone, including "wannabe" enemies!
At the calling hours and the funeral, there was sadness, but also an aura of peacefulness and appreciation in everyone whose lives she had touched in any way. She was a simple lady with no ego who said "no" to very few people during her life. I am sure that all of the people who were there, including family, were in some way touched by her beneficence!
Now let me get to the main point of this blog; that Mom had a unique lexicon, or way of expressing herself, which was part of her charm. Here are some of her expressions:
"Shoot-a-bear". Mom said this when she was startled, surprised, puzzled, at a loss for words, or confronted with a situation which was out of her control. This simple statement saved time and conveyed how she felt about specific situations.
"Hoodinky or whodinky". This was used as an adjective, for example, " That hoodinky cow must be sick because she didn't give as much milk as she usually did." It was also used as a noun, as "Whodinky stopped by the house to see you." You could always figure out what the "hoodinky" or who the "whodinky" was sooner or later!!
"Okie- dokie". Lots of people say O.K. or alright but few say "okie- dokie" the way Mom did. in fact she went through a time when she said "okie- dokie sokie." I have no idea what the "sokie" meant except for the fact that it added a bit of onomatopoeia (look it up!) to what she said!
However, Mom's most memorable and endearing saying, which said a lot about her as a person, was for example, " This is the best meal I have ever eaten"; or "that is the cutest baby I have ever seen"; or "this is the best car I have ever ridden in"; or " this is the nicest house I have ever been in". Well, you get the point. Mom appreciated the simple, mundane things in life and expressed herself in a manner that would make everyone around her feel better because of her prescence. She was a veritable "welcome wagon" as hundreds of people who stopped by the house over the years can attest to.
Many of you attended her services, but I wish that everyone reading this, whether you knew Mom or not, could have attended "The Best Funeral Ever"!!
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